Roman Legion OOC Forums

Tullius Gnaeus Varro · Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 5

So - do we want a Republican or Democrat in the White House?

Clinton/Obama look good - but what say you?

RaeusVitellius · Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 62 Location: Charleston, SC

Haha, don't make me laugh...

This year, they're all terrible. Much like last election. And the one before....

If I had to choose, I'd probably say John McCain... The idea of the US electing a president with no foreign policy experience whilst engaged in a war on two fronts, with the one stable power in East Africa disappearing, Pakistan on the brink and a now recognised need to tackle climate change, is, to be frank, awful...

Even the American Electorate couldn't do that to us... Could they?
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Calidus Raeus Vitellius
Rich (OOC)

J._Crassus_Servo · Joined: 14 Jan 2008 Posts: 11

i think there nedds to be another Republican because While I am myself a Democrat I think that America Needs another Republican to Sort out what Bush has done or hasn't done.

"Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That's why I did this, to save you from yourselves" - Sideshow Bob
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Formerly: Tiberius Cassius Nervae

RaeusVitellius · Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 62 Location: Charleston, SC

Well you're all always welcome to come back into the Empire anytime if what you want is someone to rule you like a King... Liz would be happy to take you all back - reminds me of this thing I saw the other day:-

Notice of the revocation of US Declaration of Independence

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories - except for Utah, a Mormon state,
which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Gordon Brown, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up 'aluminium'. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Similarly you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end yourlove affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed', not 'zee') and the suffix 'ize' will be replaced by the suffix 'ise'. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' - e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up 'vocabulary'.

Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up 'interspersed'. There will be no more 'bleeps' in
the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English" and we will let Microsoft
know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize'.

3. You will learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really
isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian - 'Daphne' in 'Frasier'. You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is
no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires -Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required at least occasionally to cast English actors as
the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as 'Men Behaving Badly' or 'Red Dwarf' will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, 'God Save The Queen' but only after fully carrying out the first task. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You will stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be better if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game.

Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby which is
similar to American "football" but does not involve stopping for a
rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies. We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2007.

You will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are rubbish and it is all for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian, though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium.

Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer, which should be served warm and
flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at
all - it is lager. From November 1st only proper English Bitter will be referred to as beer and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as 'Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine' with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as 'Weak Near-Frozen
Knat's Urine'. This will allow true Budweiser - as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic - to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or gasoline as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2009) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $8/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or
therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

A touch off topic, but ruddy funny I thought.... Laughing

Provided whoever you vote in charge doesn't pull out of Iraq and leave the job half done, I think that's a key thing...
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Calidus Raeus Vitellius
Rich (OOC)

Ben · Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 49

I grow weary of Europeans and their arrogance. Especially you British, which are becoming no better than the French in their level of self-righteousness. Admit that you are just as bad as the United States, or we will do to you what we did to Iraq...

After all... We may have screwed up Iraq, but a lot of major powers have an Iraq... You British have... Umm... Africa? Australia certainly... And several other now-independent countries that now are a source of problems. The former Soviet Union has Afghanistan, and yes I know Ole Glory shares in that one but oh well.

And yes, I'll admit that we screwed up Iraq, the Philippines (actually as a good American I will willingly blame Emilio Aguinaldo for that one), and probably other countries that I'm just not thinking of right now. But you damn Brits and the Russians were the cause of it! You are you damn dirty Empires. We managed to take over and screw up countries WITHOUT calling it Imperialism, good old Expansionists.
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- A. Brutus Disius, A. Commodus Lianus, H. Tiberius Vitellius

Wra7hofAchilles · Deity Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 142 Location: Chicago, IL

Wra7hofAchilles · Deity Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 142 Location: Chicago, IL

RaeusVitellius · Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 62 Location: Charleston, SC

We really should maybe move this into a new thread - I appear to have touched a nerve. So, in order, I give you...

-Indeed Ben, we have screwed up much of the world. Israel, Africa, Pakistan - all our fault (though the latter is also partially the US'). But we had our fun - owned our Empires when it was acceptable to do so... You can't go building one now, you missed the Imperial age by a hundred years boys...

-European 'Football' is a game with no fans for old American college players who couldn't quite hack it. It is essentially the NFL's B League... As for owning most of the world - see point 1 - not yet, but you're trying!

-I don't believe the Japanese teams can enter the 'World Series', but I will give you, the Japanese do indeed play...

-As for the bombing comment, simply, wow... We help you out, we're your strongest allies, and then you threaten to repeat the German attacks...

Thanks for showing up for that one by the way, better late than never. We were defending democracy and freedom by ourselves again, but we do appreciate the help.

But seriously, you don't want to mess with us. We let you fight one war by yourselves last century and look what happened...

Oh, and if anyone compares us with the French ever again, I will hunt them down! Very Happy

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Calidus Raeus Vitellius
Rich (OOC)

Wra7hofAchilles · Deity Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 142 Location: Chicago, IL

J._Crassus_Servo · Joined: 14 Jan 2008 Posts: 11

Funny, How any Topic initially about the American Elections ends up as a slog fest between The Americans And Everybody else (particularly the British).
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Formerly: Tiberius Cassius Nervae

EeeThree · Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 108

Canada of course... grabs a pint of larger and sits up here and watches, trying to keep our noses out of it. Then again, getting involved might help us defrost... but oh well. More entertainment this way.
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Presently: Tiberius Lucius Carus
Sometimes: Nick of the North
Email: eee.three@gmail.com ICQ: 357147825

Tullius Gnaeus Varro · Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 5

My apologies to all - I did not realise that my simple question would lead to World War II references (Don't mention the War - I said it once but think I got away with it - Basil Fawlty). I merely, as a Brit, wanted to see what my American friends thought, as the media can be one sided.

I would go to my bomb shelter - but I don't live in London. Drop one where I live and you would cause £1000 of improvements!

Tullius (Andy).

L0k1 · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 5

Ok in regards to political choices heres what it all boils down to. . .

If you demecrats elect Hillary... Bill is back in the White House! so lets refrain from taking him off his lease... theres only so many Monicas in goverment employ. (He He He)

If you decide to elect Obama your welcoming a Muslim extremest to run the country, who will raise taxes, and embezzle the money for the drug addiction hes admitted to having. (Studies say use of meth has a 90% chance to adict you for life. . . you really thinks hes above that?)

If you vote Huckabee.. God wtf this boy wants to meet diplomatic relations with a terrorist regime. . Hello am I the only person who watched Battlefield Galactica and saw what happened when you stick a diplomat in the room with someone who doesnt care to die? They blow up! He obviously needs more time for his tinker toys before he grows up to the big boy sandbox of politics.

Mc Cain. . Ok Ok all be it hes older than color TV, and hes "Ok" with gay marriage. BUT, he wants to save u money by letting u buy perscriptions made in America that where shipped to canada for cheaper than u can get in America (And the canadians get some extra money also). He wants to lower taxes for the lower and middle class (Which we need so you people can stop saving your money and spend it in our economy!). He also wants to make to so that when his term ends the demorcratic a**holes who wants to increase taxes for spending in schools and infrastructure (which I support untill they pork barrel that money to say to goes to the schools and neighborhood in their hometown only) can't without a higher percentage of votes! Yay. He wants to eliminate pork barreling, eliminate wasted spending on expired bills that no one has killed yet, and hes in it for the war which regardless of any of you who think we dont need it. . . WE DO.

Anywho please dont post some silly remarks like we need Hilary for this or I may start crying just to get your support for me (God I love making fun of her). Refrain from some silly Obama this and that, lets allow mister Barrack Houssein Obama stop hiding from his masque as he swears hes a god loving christian. Furthermore, I honeslty dont care whos in office Mc Cain is the lesser of evils. . . Both parties are in it for the wrong reasons as america is crumbing. So lets just hold on for the ride and if need be. . . Go to Canada (who might I add has free healthcare!) Besides this forum is for fun stuff not arguments between brothers (Cmon guys I want to see the Cheeky Brit, and the Ignorant Yank. make up)

EeeThree · Joined: 10 Jan 2008 Posts: 108

Actualy, healthcare here isnt fully free. Increasing amounts of it are becomming de-socialized, due to us losing healthcare providers (doctors, specialists, etc) to the USA where they can make more money.

All the nice things Canada has been known for throughout history (its free healthcare, higher standard of education, nice and friendly society, its safety, etc) are all crumbling due to individual greed.

Although.. a true Cananadian move occured when we elected our last Prime Minister... Durring the election, he was labeled Bush Lite. A conservative (with the conservative party), who promoted great support for the USA's war (which most canadians beleive is nothing more than the USA using war to stimulate its economy, a historically proven benefit of war, and has nothing to do with terrorism of any kind) and many reforms within our historically liberal government which favored the rich, the businesses, etc.

And yet the moment his party won, he himself shocked his party, and the people of Canada, by doing many things against his platform, and yet, earning the respect of the people. He has, on many occasions, personally told the US ambassador a loud, clear, and resounding NO on many issues the USA has tried to demand out of us. He changed our role in the war from front line troops (where American missiles and bullets were killing more of us than terrorist missiles or bullets) and gave us the peace-keeping, policing duties the Canadian military has always been famous for. (although, we Canadians admit our military is really nothing more than mercenaries we train, slap a flag on, and then rent out to the world at large). He has introduced many liberal reforms, against his party platform, and has been SO sucessful, he has even caused his previously very conservative party to become more forward thinking like him.

Best thing about him... durring the campaign, he was neither for nor against gay marriage (which had been legalized previously), but promised to reopen discussion on it. Which he did. And nothing changed.

Unlike the USA.. Canada made the very wise move of treating Religion, and Politics as the seperate entities they are. Religion is for at home. It will build your morals and ideals that dictate who you are. And that may influence your work in politics, but as long as it is remembered that not everyone is your religion, and you do not force your personal views on others, you can be sucessful. When religion and politics meet, you become a fundamentalist state. Like the Taliban. Like the USA.

And now these long, rambling thoughts are done.
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Presently: Tiberius Lucius Carus
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Email: eee.three@gmail.com ICQ: 357147825

JOM · Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 151

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